{"id":116,"date":"2005-09-26T12:13:03","date_gmt":"2005-09-26T12:13:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/example.com\/?p=116"},"modified":"2005-09-26T12:13:03","modified_gmt":"2005-09-26T12:13:03","slug":"curb-your-enthusiasm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/2005\/09\/26\/curb-your-enthusiasm\/","title":{"rendered":"Curb your enthusiasm"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">Yea really, give it a thought man. There are times when the morbid swell hyperactive soul inside you jumps the gun and hits the ceiling. Dunno how much your head hurts man, but spare my ceiling the bump (also the floor when you decide to head back down)<\/p>\n<p>Just yesterday, I met a dude who had power play poking into his new found love for pigeon food. And he was jumping up (barely touching ground \u2026 I wonder how he did that). And yes he embellished pigeon food. I didn\u2019t even know pigeon food existed in retail man. I always thought pigeons ate peas, rice grains and junk (if you\u2019re Bird). And now I know a dude who does the same (and apparently go bonkers over it). Chillax man \u2026 curb your enthusiasm.<\/p>\n<p>In this land (of opportunity, XXL everything \u2013 from humans to inanimate objects, Hurricanes, Earthquakes etc.) it\u2019s been this complete set of alter state expose for moi. To see the height of laziness that prevails here (or call it extreme enthusiasm over trivial matters), I\u2019ll site some technological advances over many of the not so enthu countries world over.<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> <span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">It\u2019s common to find a toilet paper dispenser that operates on infra red. You put your hand around the dispenser and \u2026 Tadaa \u2026 we have paper rolling out man \u2026 Geniusss \u2026 But for that million dollar question \u2026 WHYYYY???. Will I break my tendons pulling that damn toilet paper mann? But hey, they thought of this first.<\/span><\/li>\n<li> <span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">Ahh and then there\u2019s a small piece of machinery which, ok dig this \u2026. OPENS Soda Cans. How difficult is that man? Some people think it\u2019s rocket science though.<\/span><\/li>\n<li> <span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">There was a patent issued last year for a Light Bulb Changing device (yes \u2026 light bulb)<\/span><\/li>\n<li> <span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">It\u2019s also common to find speed gun detecting machines in vehicles (although illegal in most states). These devices detect a policemen\u2019s speed gun way before you reach its scope, and hence you have enough time to slow down to the speed limit. Now, the policemen here are not Pandus. They\u2019ve come up with a damn device which detects these devices in the cars man. I don\u2019t understand when and where this will end. The speed buggies will now invent a device which cloaks their device and then the police would find a way to find the cloaking device and thereafter the damn speed gun detector. Stop it man, you\u2019re killing me here!!!<\/span><\/li>\n<li> <span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">Toilet Snorkel \u2013 This one rocks. Now what would you do if there\u2019s a fire in your apartment and there\u2019s smoke all around you and you\u2019re waiting for the firemen to rescue you and are gasping for air with all the smoky fumes around you? Oh yea \u2026 go to your toilet and start breathing sewage air. There\u2019s a small tube which is installed in your commode (comes out by the side of the toilet seat and is hooked on to the end of the sewage area which is typically used for sewage vent. And yes the idea is that, you\u2019d rather breathe this filth than the toxic fumes. This one takes the pick man. You\u2019re alive and your breath smells like shit. Also, if you don\u2019t make it (let\u2019s hope this never happens to anyone), seriously, what a way to go man.<\/span><\/li>\n<li> <span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\">Toilet Landing Lights \u2013 For guys, have you ever had trouble aiming in the dark? Well look no further, say hello to the blue LED landing lights (with water reflectors) which lit up not just your spraying area, but also the spray itself when you have a go in the dark. (wowi \u2026 how thoughtful!!!)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 100%;\"><br \/>\nYou never know man, they might just make waterproof teabags very soon \u2026 grow up guys \u2026 and yea curb it!<\/p>\n<p>Ahh well all this talk of toilet and technology makes me take a leak now. Now where\u2019s that solar torch? Oh I forget \u2026 we have landing lights here.<\/p>\n<p>PS: Bird, you want me to trash this bird food enthusiast? Tell me, I\u2019m larger than him and I eat meat.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yea really, give it a thought man. There are times when the morbid swell hyperactive soul inside you jumps the gun and hits the ceiling. Dunno how much your head hurts man, but spare my ceiling the bump (also the floor when you decide to head back down) Just yesterday, I met a dude who had power play poking into his new found love for pigeon food. And he was jumping up (barely touching ground \u2026 I wonder how he did that). And yes he embellished pigeon food. I didn\u2019t even know pigeon food existed in retail man. I always thought pigeons ate peas, rice grains and junk (if you\u2019re Bird). And now I know a dude who does the same (and apparently go bonkers over it). Chillax man \u2026 curb your enthusiasm. In this land (of opportunity, XXL everything \u2013 from humans to inanimate objects, Hurricanes, Earthquakes etc.) it\u2019s been this complete set of alter state expose for moi. To see the height of laziness that prevails here (or call it extreme enthusiasm over trivial matters), I\u2019ll site some technological advances over many of the not so enthu countries world over. It\u2019s common to find a toilet paper dispenser that operates on infra red. You put your hand around the dispenser and \u2026 Tadaa \u2026 we have paper rolling out man \u2026 Geniusss \u2026 But for that million dollar question \u2026 WHYYYY???. Will I break my tendons pulling that damn toilet paper mann? But hey, they thought of this first. Ahh and then there\u2019s a small piece of machinery which, ok dig this \u2026. OPENS Soda Cans. How difficult is that man? Some people think it\u2019s rocket science though. There was a patent issued last year for a Light Bulb Changing device (yes \u2026 light bulb) It\u2019s also common to find speed gun detecting machines in vehicles (although illegal in most states). These devices detect a policemen\u2019s speed gun way before you reach its scope, and hence you have enough time to slow down to the speed limit. Now, the policemen here are not Pandus. They\u2019ve come up with a damn device which detects these devices in the cars man. I don\u2019t understand when and where this will end. The speed buggies will now invent a device which cloaks their device and then the police would find a way to find the cloaking device and thereafter the damn speed gun detector. Stop it man, you\u2019re killing me here!!! Toilet Snorkel \u2013 This one rocks. Now what would you do if there\u2019s a fire in your apartment and there\u2019s smoke all around you and you\u2019re waiting for the firemen to rescue you and are gasping for air with all the smoky fumes around you? Oh yea \u2026 go to your toilet and start breathing sewage air. There\u2019s a small tube which is installed in your commode (comes out by the side of the toilet seat and is hooked on to the end of the sewage area which is typically used for sewage vent. And yes the idea is that, you\u2019d rather breathe this filth than the toxic fumes. This one takes the pick man. You\u2019re alive and your breath smells like shit. Also, if you don\u2019t make it (let\u2019s hope this never happens to anyone), seriously, what a way to go man. Toilet Landing Lights \u2013 For guys, have you ever had trouble aiming in the dark? Well look no further, say hello to the blue LED landing lights (with water reflectors) which lit up not just your spraying area, but also the spray itself when you have a go in the dark. (wowi \u2026 how thoughtful!!!) You never know man, they might just make waterproof teabags very soon \u2026 grow up guys \u2026 and yea curb it! Ahh well all this talk of toilet and technology makes me take a leak now. Now where\u2019s that solar torch? Oh I forget \u2026 we have landing lights here. PS: Bird, you want me to trash this bird food enthusiast? Tell me, I\u2019m larger than him and I eat meat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-116","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=116"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/statueofpuberty.com\/sp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}