A grave situation encompasses us all …
One that has elements of terror and pain …
An incredibly mighty contamination surge has hit us …
Bird flu has hit the country bad … the rest of the world even harder …
We’re killing birds (infected and suspected carriers) in the numbers. H5N1 is killing many of our dear friend’s cousins and relatives through direct and/or in-direct means (mass culling).
We hit upon a conversation with the lead architect himself (itself) “The Bird” (some have pronounced a name upon the same, Priyadarshan Nadkarni aka Kumar Bird).
Scene 1 [ Happy Restaurant ]
Reuters: Do you have a contingency plan to curb this wide epidemic?
Bird: No
Reuters: So you wish to leave it up to the respective state and nation’s governing powers to carry forward their selective culling methods?
Bird: No
Reuters: You are speaking in single syllables today.
Bird: Singhal, that’s my boss
Reuters: Could you please elaborate on the steps you would be taking to curb this epidemic?
Bird: I have bigger things on my mind now. Like governance and taking care of the heavy responsibilities of our human kind. I’m the only one who can save this planet and it’s beings.
Reuters: (puzzled) So is that what you were created for?
Bird: Yes
Reuters: So how do you plan to do that?
Bird: Did you see my new shoes?
Reuters: Do you have estimates on the number of bird killings in your country?
Bird: You haven’t commented on my shoes yet!!
Reuters: Could we please stick to the grave topic of concern here please?
Bird: It will just take you a minute to respond to the one I put forth. You can take more though. I’d like your review to be extensive.
Reuters: (WTF man) They’re good, I’m not much of a shoe person.
Bird: Ok good. Why don’t we go to Powai? I’ll show you my office and my bus stop
Reuters: Lets please work at completing this interview. I don’t understand why you’re so not involved in this. This matter should have been at the top of your priority list.
Bird: I told you I’m not interested in small matters like this flu thing. I have a bigger picture to look at.
Reuters: It so happens that my boss will murder me if I don’t get something good out of this session with you.
Bird: What’s your boss’s name? I dislike him already
Reuters: Dilbert
Bird: Did you know that Wikipedia has info on Gilbert Hill?
Reuters: I said Dilbert, that’s my boss’s name. And what in the world is Gilbert Hill?
Bird: Give me Dilbert’s number right away!! I will tell him that you don’t deserve to be a journalist. You don’t know about Gilbert Hill?
Reuters: I don’t think we’re going anywhere with this
Bird: I told you we should have done this in Powai. You know if we put lights around the Powai Lake driveway, it would actually look like Bombay’s second queen’s necklace?
Reuters: This has been a waste of time.
Bird: Time is a human perception defined as the length of an interval separating two points on a non-spatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.
Reuters: Goodbye Mr. Bird. And no it wasn’t a pleasure meeting you.
Bird: The pleasure was all mine … but where are you going? We still have to go see the bus stop
Reuters: (slams the briefcase and heads out of Happy)
Bird: (opens book and starts reading)
Scene 1 ends
Scene 2 [ abhi calls bird ]
Me: Item kidar hai? (bastard, where are you?)
Bird: Happy mein hai, aur kaha rahega chodu (in Happy, where else you f***in guy)
Me: I’m at Shopper’s … Chal CT? (lets go booze at our favourite joint)
Bird: Chal (ok)
Bird: I got new shoes
Me: Yea yea .. pakka mat .. chal jaldi (zzzz)
Scene 2 ends [ we already know what happens in CT ]
… once again Bird ponders upon his journey into saving the planet, strategizing and laying down the rules for the New bird Order.
Bird’s flu lives on …