Yea really, give it a thought man. There are times when the morbid swell hyperactive soul inside you jumps the gun and hits the ceiling. Dunno how much your head hurts man, but spare my ceiling the bump (also the floor when you decide to head back down)
Just yesterday, I met a dude who had power play poking into his new found love for pigeon food. And he was jumping up (barely touching ground … I wonder how he did that). And yes he embellished pigeon food. I didn’t even know pigeon food existed in retail man. I always thought pigeons ate peas, rice grains and junk (if you’re Bird). And now I know a dude who does the same (and apparently go bonkers over it). Chillax man … curb your enthusiasm.
In this land (of opportunity, XXL everything – from humans to inanimate objects, Hurricanes, Earthquakes etc.) it’s been this complete set of alter state expose for moi. To see the height of laziness that prevails here (or call it extreme enthusiasm over trivial matters), I’ll site some technological advances over many of the not so enthu countries world over.
- It’s common to find a toilet paper dispenser that operates on infra red. You put your hand around the dispenser and … Tadaa … we have paper rolling out man … Geniusss … But for that million dollar question … WHYYYY???. Will I break my tendons pulling that damn toilet paper mann? But hey, they thought of this first.
- Ahh and then there’s a small piece of machinery which, ok dig this …. OPENS Soda Cans. How difficult is that man? Some people think it’s rocket science though.
- There was a patent issued last year for a Light Bulb Changing device (yes … light bulb)
- It’s also common to find speed gun detecting machines in vehicles (although illegal in most states). These devices detect a policemen’s speed gun way before you reach its scope, and hence you have enough time to slow down to the speed limit. Now, the policemen here are not Pandus. They’ve come up with a damn device which detects these devices in the cars man. I don’t understand when and where this will end. The speed buggies will now invent a device which cloaks their device and then the police would find a way to find the cloaking device and thereafter the damn speed gun detector. Stop it man, you’re killing me here!!!
- Toilet Snorkel – This one rocks. Now what would you do if there’s a fire in your apartment and there’s smoke all around you and you’re waiting for the firemen to rescue you and are gasping for air with all the smoky fumes around you? Oh yea … go to your toilet and start breathing sewage air. There’s a small tube which is installed in your commode (comes out by the side of the toilet seat and is hooked on to the end of the sewage area which is typically used for sewage vent. And yes the idea is that, you’d rather breathe this filth than the toxic fumes. This one takes the pick man. You’re alive and your breath smells like shit. Also, if you don’t make it (let’s hope this never happens to anyone), seriously, what a way to go man.
- Toilet Landing Lights – For guys, have you ever had trouble aiming in the dark? Well look no further, say hello to the blue LED landing lights (with water reflectors) which lit up not just your spraying area, but also the spray itself when you have a go in the dark. (wowi … how thoughtful!!!)
You never know man, they might just make waterproof teabags very soon … grow up guys … and yea curb it!
Ahh well all this talk of toilet and technology makes me take a leak now. Now where’s that solar torch? Oh I forget … we have landing lights here.
PS: Bird, you want me to trash this bird food enthusiast? Tell me, I’m larger than him and I eat meat.